poor baby...

After weeks of watching Bennett have episodes of uncontrollable crying, I finally made an appointment with our pediatrician.  This was all too familiar.  Ethan was a "fussy" baby and cried from 4 weeks until we started seeing an improvement at 12 weeks.  We had tried reflux medications with Ethan but didn't have great results.  Making an appointment was my "we have to try something" approach.  Out of frustration I had picked up the baby books again, reading on colic.  By the way--- I hate the term colic.  It makes my own stomach hurt at the mention of it.

So after speaking with our pediatrician for 20 minutes, I was basically asking for reflux meds.  Anything I could do to try to help Bennett.  I mentioned that his stools did change from yellow to green when he was upset and crying the most.  Dr.  Huss then examined Bennett to find a smidge of green stool in his diaper.  He then said, "I'm certain I could hemocult this and find a positive stool.  I am almost certain he has a milk protein allergy."

He sent me home to hemocult my own baby's stool.  For my non-medical readers...this means blood in his stool that isn't visible.  I didn't know to if I should be joyful to find a reason for this crying or to start crying.  This meant either I could attempt a super strict diet in attempt to continue to breastfeed or switch him to a special formula that in all honesty stinks, tastes terrible, and would make my baby have a funny smell.  The next day I did hemocult my own baby's stool to find a very positive result.

The idea of not nursing Bennett hurts my heart.  Losing that skin to skin time is heart breaking.  Also, my NICU background has educated me on all the benefits that breastfeeding does for both the baby and mother.  To be making bottles and mixing formula would definitely be different than simply picking up my baby at 3 am to feed him.  However, seeing him hurting and grunting...I would do ANYTHING to help him.

Where does that leave me?  Enter the "Daniel" diet.  A nickname given that means eating like Daniel back in the biblical days.  Pretty much vegetables and meat.  I cannot eat anything dairy....milk, cheese, chocolate.  After googling my heart out, I am learning to read labels.  Apparently, I can't even eat pringles chips.  I am also avoiding soy, which at first I thought, "well, it isn't like I eat tofu often."  Then I noticed oreos (which was my attempt at eating chocolate) contains soy.  Babies who have this protein allergy are more likely 40% to have a soy allergy as well.

My plan is to "attempt" this diet for 3 weeks.  "Attempt" being our pediatricians word.  So far it is hard, and I am so hungry!  I need to go spend a few hours at Whole Foods reading labels and stocking my shelves with food that won't hurt my baby's tummy.  If I don't see a big improvement in Bennett, which I was told takes up to 3 weeks to get the protein out of both of our systems, I will switch to nutramagen or alimentum formula.  When the diet works (my optimism) we may would try to reintroduce dairy at 3 or 4 months of age.  At 3 weeks if we see a big difference, then I would slowly try to reintroduce soy into my diet.

Today is day 3.  I know have coconut creamer for my coffee, and $7 chocolate rice ice cream in my freezer.  I am nervous to say out load that we see an improvement in Bennett.  I want this work soooo bad.  I spoke with a friend who has done this same thing.  She swears we will see an improvement in his skin (baby acne that is rash-like) within 6 days.

I am so thankful to have an answer and a plan to help Bennett.  David and I looked at each other Monday night over dinner and said what we were both thinking.  "Ethan probably had the same thing, and we never found it.  He just outgrew it."  It will take weeks to know if my modified diet will resolve this.  I keep thinking how hard it is to see him grunting and crying.  I have no idea how my NICU patients families cope with with they see their babies experience.  We will figure this out.